Camp Happy!
by xx strawberrylube xx
Summary: Naruto & everyone's gone to camp! Too bad it's gunna be hell...anyway, reeaaaally random moments, often refering to gays..so...yeah... please read!
1. Welcome to Camp Happy!

**Camp Happy**

**By: xx strawberrylube xx**

**Chibi Ra-Ra (Quelz-chan cleverly disguised!): **Hellooooh!

**Chibi Kai-Kai (Kairee-san sorta cleverly disguised sorta!):** This is me & Chibi Ra-Ra's first Naruto yaoi fic! YAY!

**Chibi Ra-Ra: **YAY! GO YAOI!

**Chibi Kai-Kai: **Yeah, disclaimer time…then for our fantabulous fanfic, Camp Happy! Our OOC Camp fic…AU-ness, buddy! XD

**DISCLAIMER: We don't own Naruto, and we aren't making any money off of this either! I wish we were though…**

(P.S. This fic will probably not be BETA-ed so, please...no meanie-faced comments)

(P.S. P.S... Sure… Anyway, please no flames, 'cause we started this when only one of us knew what we were talking about, so…yeah, please be nice and use your imagination.)

**­­­­­**

_A pink bus with a simile face and rainbows pulls onto a dirt road with a pink sign hanging above it reading "Happy Campers Camping Grounds and Camp" _

'What kind of fucked up name is "Happy Campers Camping Grounds and Camp"!' Neji thought to himself.

"A very retarded name, that's what!" Sasuke said, answering his thought…somehow… 

Neji glared at Sasuke and said nothing.

_Suddenly the big pink bus comes to a screeching halt_

"All right, everybody off," the bus driver said in a perky tune, "Get your spirits up, up, up! No need to slouch, here's…a…CUP!" and gave Gaara a strange bunny-shaped cup.

"Thanks…" Gaara said; getting off the bus, then smashed the cup with his hand. "…Sonuvabitch…SO FUCKIN' PERKY!" Turning back to the bus driver, Gaara yelled, "FUCK YOU, PERKY MAN!

_The group of kids walk into a big, green cabin with a HUGE simile face painted on the door_

"HELLO!" the counselor greeted with a smile, walking out from the bathroom.

"God, another fucking perky person…?"Gaara mumbled to himself.

"Don't worry, Gaara, everything will turn out okay," Neji smiled and patted his shoulder and Gaara's eye twitched.

Naruto popped out of nowhere in front of Gaara and Neji and proclaimed, pointing to the counselor, "Hey! Who's the freaky lookin' dude?"

"Hello, Campers! My name is…" the counselor began.

"DICK SUCKER!" Naruto cut in, laughing hysterically. Kiba let out a howl of laughter and fell on his butt.

"No…" he said, glaring at Naruto, "My name is Kakashi. Kakashi Hatake."

"Well, Mister Cock-ashi, you're face makes me wanna DOO-DOO!" Naruto howled along-side Kiba once again.

Sasuke started staring at Kakashi's left eye, and Kiba said "Yoz, whatcha starin' at?"

"Hm..? Oh, nothing…" Sasuke said blankly with a slight blush.

"OOOOKAY," Kiba said, then turned to Naruto and began laughing again.

'_What was he staring at me for?' _ Kakashi thought to himself, _'Whatever, and he's pretty cute…'_

Naruto noticed Sasuke's blush and said, "Uh…Sasuke are you _blushing_!"

"N-NO!" Sasuke shouted.

"OoOoOo, so you sway that way…and for a counselor, too!" Naruto announced and Kiba began laughing even harder and fell to his knees; Gaara just tuned them out.

Neji began to stare at Gaara's –nice, fine, soft- butt, and Gaara felt like he was being watched, but thought nothing of it.

"Well…to the cabins!" Kakashi said, showing the group to the door.

**At Cabin #2**

"Here, happy campers…" Kakashi began, looking at his clipboard, "Gaara, Neji and Sasuke will be in here with…" He turned the page of the clipboard and looked up with a smile, "ME!"

"YES!" Neji exclaimed out of the semi-silence. "…I mean…OW! A…uh…pine-needle…eh-heh-heh…"

'_Damn…the same cabin…with HIM!' _Sasuke thought to himself, _'It's gunna be HARD to sleep this next week!' _(Take this however you think XD)

"OFF TO THE NEXT CABIN!" Kakashi exclaimed, with a 'n.n' kinda smile.

**At Cabin #3**

"This is cabin 3. This cabin will have…Naruto, Kiba, and Lee…and this cabin is the only cabin with 2 counselors, so…DEAL WITH IT!" Kakashi smiled, "The counselors are…"

At that moment the bus driver walked in.

"The bus driver is also a counselor!" Naruto shrieked, pointing to the bus driver.

"Yes, Naruto, he is…And you'll be rooming with him!"

A voice from the back of the group spoke up with a, "YEP! This will be FUN, brother!" He flipped his hair to the other shoulder and put in, "Isn't it a surprise I'm the _DRAMA _class director's assistant?"

"….Itachi's here? What the hell is he doing here?" Sasuke said uneasily, without turning around.

"HEY! …Who's the drama director?" Naruto piped up with a scrunched up face.

"ME! 3" An odd voice from the window said.

"GAI!" Itachi and Rock Lee said in unison, Kakashi turning to the slightly open window with a leg sticking in.

"….WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" Naruto yelled lately, standing up, "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH THE BUS DRIVER!"

"Yes," Kakashi said very bluntly, "Next cabin!"

_Yaadaa Yaadaa, everyone gets a cabin assignment, Sasuke & Itachi argue…HERE WE GO! –_Play_- _(Now lunch time)

"I wonder what slop they serve here," Gaara said sarcastically.

"YES, GAA-CHAN! I WONDER!" Neji said loudly, putting a finger to his chin. "I hope it's popcorn, orange juice, and pickles!" n.n

Gaara just stared; Neji blushed.

Sasuke said bravely, picking up a tray, "Well, I only hope it's edible…" The first 'food' choice bubbled and gurgled. "Uh...m… I don't have much of an appetite," he said to the lunch lady. Dropping his tray, he ran out of the lunch room with his mouth and stomach.

Meanwhile, Naruto sat down next to Neji and tried to have a conversation. "Hey, Neji," he began, "How ya doin'?"

"Fine, Naruto! And you?" Neji replied sarcastically, his blush hardly wearing off.

"Neji…You know you're blushing, right?"

"It's Gaara's fault, so shut up, you Jerk-Off!"

"WHAT! YOU JERK OFF WHILE THINKING OF GAARA! GOD, NOT YOU, TOO! EVERYONE IS SWAYING THAT WAY NOW!" Naruto sobbed.

"Neji…does what?" Gaara looked up from his slop of lunch, which appeared to twitch and spazz.

"IT'S NOT TRUE, GAARA! I SWEAR! NARUTO'S THE ONE WHO'S GAY! HE SCREWS KIBA!"

"What?" Kiba said, looking up from where he was sitting, next to a blonde, "Naruto wants to screw me?" He shrugged, "Okay, he can, I really don't care…"

Everyone: Stares at Kiba.

"Kiba, you're gay? Why didn't you tell me? I would've gone out with you…" The blonde person next to Kiba said –name unknown-.

"Hey, who's the hot chick?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the blonde-y.

"Uhm…Deidara, and by the way, I'm a guy…" the blonde said, putting his hand out to Naruto.

"Oh…" he said, shaking his hand sub-consciously.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS GAY!" Neji yelled, standing up and pointing at him. Naruto gave Neji a not-so-deathy Death Stare.

"'KAY! LET'S GO!" Kakashi said out of no-where.

"But we have just started eating!" Lee yelled in protest with an accusing finger pointed at Kakashi.

"It's not like we were eating…" Gaara said, and got up from where he was sitting.


	2. Iruka! Teh Friendly Dolphin!

**Camp Happy**

**Chibi Ra-Ra: **:Siiiiigh: I must be really tired…on the last chapter I forgot to put an end note…TT I feel pathetic… any way, here we go again. This chapter is –or I was aiming for it to be- more random…but over half of this I made up last night XDD sooo…Enjous? (Credit to my 9-year-old brother)

**Chibi Kai-Kai:** WOO! CHAPTER TWO! This fics already sucks really bad and its gunna end up sucking more…BUT READ IT ANYWAY!! 'Cause there's yaoi…sorta…more "Kumquat"-y…Ra-Ra's idea of smex… or lemon.../lime/strawberry…/EVERY FRUIT IN TEH WORLD!!! …Except for banana…

**Disclaimer: **Disclaimer to everything. The End.

_-The 2nd Day at Camp-_

"Hey, Gaara? You got a sec? I want to tell you something," Neji said, blushing.

Gaara raised an 'eyebrow', "What about?"

"Gaara…I…I love you…"

Gaara was in shock!

Neji blushed a deep crimson! (WHAP! BAM! HURT! XD)

_-Background changes to some house like in soap operas-_

"I never knew you had such feelings for me!" Gaara said, holding Neji's hands in his own.

"But do you love me? I must know!!" Neji said, weeping –oh, so- femininely.

Gaara was about to speak when Kakashi cut in: "OH!! This is like the three-hundred twenty-second episode of "Kiss Me, You Must"!! When Synthia finds out Derek loves her, then told him she was a man! Derek later realizes he loves a man, -making him gay- and-"

"SHUUSH!!" Lee yelled softly, "It's getting to the best part!!!"

"…"

-_Fart noise- (Anyway, back to the camp background)_

"Neji…How long have you had these feelings?"

"Since I saw that porn video of you…I'm sorry, I stole it from that box labeled 'eye liner'… although all 600 different colors of black did make me dizzy…"

"You found that?"

"Yes, but why would you do that?"

"Because I'm nasty!" Gaara said, reaching his hand for Neji's crotch. "And tonight…I feast…!" Forcing his tongue to the back of Neji's throat.

Neji broke away. "Um…I really gotta piss real quick, so," Neji said quickly and ran for the bathroom door.

"…What the hell are you staring at?" Gaara said to his 'audience'.

"NOTHING!" Kakashi said, turning his head to find Naruto and Kiba making out. "HEY, you two!! Having fun?"

"Hm?" Naruto said, breaking away from Kiba's lips. "…Oh, you saw that?"

"YES! And it was most disturbing!!" Lee exclaimed, pointing to his tongue.

"…Can we please do something else?" Sakura said finally, looking around the semi-empty dining hall.

_-Zabuza, the camp security guard, flings her out of camp, his towel holding on for dear life around his hips-_

"AND DON'T COME BACK!! Dammit… Now where were we?" He said, turning back to Haku, who was naked in bed -except for his sheets-, waiting upon Zabuza's return to their cabin.

-_Back in the dining hall…_-

Sasuke spoke up in a bored tone, "Does anyone else find this camp absolutely and utterly retarded? How about we _DO_ something!!"

-Time lapse-

"…And she said 'No way!' and I was like, 'Yes, way!'" (Haku…somehow… painting his tootsies.)

"…NOT WHAT I MEANT!!" Sasuke said with anger in his voice, while having Lee paint his nails yellow, orange, red, green, blue, and purple. (In that order XD)

"…I want…to die…" Gaara said, with poorly-done make-up on and a pink frilly dress with two pathetic pony tails.

"Aww, Gaara, you look so good!" Ten-Ten snickered with Temari and Tayuya.

"The T3 strikes again!" the three girls said in unison, then giggled together.

-_Fart noise-_

_-ALL OF A SUDDEN A MONKEY COMES PRANCING THRU THE WOODS!!- _

"WHOA! A MONKEY!!" Kankuro exclaims, lassoing the beast with a rope of underarm hair, and jumps on its back. "YAAAAY, MONKEY RIDE! MONKEY RIDE!! Temari, wanna join?!"

"…I'd rather not…" Temari replies, filing her nails.

"OH! OH! ME NEXT!! ME NEEEEXT!!" The Spiffy Lee shouted, jumping up and down with his raised hand.

"Okay, but be nice Charlotte!" Kankuro said, petting the monkey's arm affectionately.

"…Hn, I'm taking a swim in the lake." Gaara said, turning away toward the lake.

"OH! GAARA! MAY I COME?" Neji yelled after him, taking off his clothes to reveal a woman's bikini.

"…Whoa," Naruto said, turning his attention from Charlotte to Neji's surprising attire.

"…Unless you want to be pulled under…" Gaara said, with a hint of death in his voice…somehow.

_Plip plip plip!_

"…Da fuck?" Sasuke said, looking around for the origin of the odd noise.

_PLIP!! _ A giant frog jumped onto the bath house, completely destroying it and everything in it.

"Nnnguuuhh…" Sakura said from the bottom of the frog's foot, being stuck their like bubble gum from a side walk stuck on the bottom of your shoe, only to stretch each time you step. (BWAHA)

Suddenly Zabuza ran out, flailing a snow shovel. Running to the frog's foot, he raked off Sakura off yelling, "I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT!!!" and kicked her –stretch-y self- back out. (BWAHA!)

-_Back at the lake…_-

Gaara, floating on a duck floaty (his legs hanging out with his butt in the hole), heard an odd sound.

"Hark! Whatever is that sound?!" Gaara said, putting a cupped hand to his ear.

Why, it was IRUKA! THE FRIENDLY DOLPHIN!!! Flapping his torso and legs like a flipping dolphin when he jumped out from the water.

"EEEEK EEEEK!! (HIIIII GAARA! HIIII GAARA!)" Iruka, the friendly dolphin said to Gaara.

"…Damn birds…" Gaara said, looking up at the sky.

-_Later that night in the dining hall…_-

"I saw what you did to that monkey, Kankurour..." Naruto said.

"What?! Leave my love for Charlotte out of this!" Kankurou exclaimed.

"Huh? All I did was see you dance with it... Gosh," Naruto said sweat dropping.

"You're such a fag, Naruto," Sasuke said while rolling his eyes.

"You're one to talk Miss Priss!"

"At least I wasn't making out with Kiba."

"Well, you got your nails painted!"

"I'm not the one who jerks off at night while thinking about penises."

"What?! I do not!"

"Mmhm... Sure..." Sasuke mumbled, going back to poking at his "Mystery Meat"

**Chibi Ra-Ra: CHAAA!! **CLIFF HANGER…WHICH DOESN'T LEAVE YOU HANGING!! OMG!!!

**Chibi Kai-Kai: **Bie Bie! Review!


End file.
